3 left.

Please count down with me.

I’ve had a hard time writing lately, because I feel like I’ve got little positive to say.  I’m whiney these days.  Sick of feeling sick.  Chemo was over LAST WEEK!  But I’m still just dragging ass.  I wake up each morning thinking “Today I will feel good again.  Like myself.  Faaaaast.”  And then it doesn’t happen.

The external burns from the radiation have gotten pretty irritating.  I won’t bother to describe it with any detail.

I need to take a shower now, hop on the bike, and go.  Three more treatments left, and then I’m hoping to pronounce this thing dead..     3, 2, 1, DEAD.  Like that.

0 Replies to “3 left.”

  1. We are counting down the days with you
    As always, sending good thoughts – (the burns are rough, aren’t they?? – did you get something for your skin?????)

    3
    then
    2
    then
    1
    then
    DONE DONE DONE!!!!

  2. Three, Two, One – Nova Scotia here you come!!!! As for attitude – Dude, if this is whiney, I am going to send my 4 year old to you to teach you how its really done ’cause you aint got no clue! 🙂

    -j, r, s (the professional whiner!) & z (who could teach you a good old fashioned 2-year-old temper tantrum, if you need lessons in that, too!)

  3. this was exactly what i thought this morning when i woke up…only three more left! you are coooaaasssstttiiiing right into the finish line! it’s right there in front of you…reach, reach, reach and you’ll be there in a quick 72 or so hours!

    don’t worry about whining…this IS supposed to be your outlet, isn’t it??!!!

  4. I am there counting down with you. I really appriciate your candidness in sharing how your feeling…hang in there. You’re just about done with it.

  5. Ezra, your whining is like an average conversation with most people in my life. I had a stomach bug last weekend and I was thinking of you. (Isn’t that a lovely sentence out of context?) One day of nausea and vomiting was too much for me. I’m amazed by what you’ve endured. You are entitled to a little whining and maybe even a full blown temper tantrum, then you just keep going. I’m counting with you.

    xo

  6. Ezra, you don’t HAVE to be positive all the way through chemo and radiation– the point of a cancer blog can’t possibly be to assure us all that it’s really no big deal! But three days — that’s great. Yah, countdown!

  7. ezra:

    congrats on ending this experience. There are lotions you can use to help with the burn irritations. they are in the “medical” section of the lotion shelf at your local pharmacy: vaseline-like (but get water base, not petroleum based), no perfumes or colorings. AQUAPHOR is really good, it supplies moisture to your skin, it will provide coolness and takes away that dry scratchy feeling. also silvadene takes the burning/stinging sensation away (use only if your burn site is really painful) but it is by Rx only and pretty pricey. your dr. may have some samples to give to you. it also prevents bacteria and fungal issues in vulneralbe areas. slather (and by slather I mean thick like frosting a cake) any of those products on and wear a burmese type skirt around (like a towel or sheet you tie around your waist after the shower) until it all soaks in. Vitamin E works really well too: if you can find a bottle, then get the pills, bust them open and apply the oil directly on the irritated area. this you want to apply more thinly than the water based lotions, because it won’t breath as easily and will make the area “hotter”.

    i remember how annoying my rad burns were, but i knew the guys with prostate cancer had it worse. whenever i would start feeling down, i knew there were people out there that had it worse than me: older (i was only 32 when it hit), less active, lonely. i didn’t try to build myself up by focusing on the pain of others, but sometimes it made it a little easier to remember how good i had it with the support of my workmates, friends and drs. I constantly told myself “this too shall pass” and it eventually did.

    congrats again. sounds like the world is rooting for you.

    -oskar

  8. Almost there, man. Almost there. You can do it. I know full well that it’s you that has to do the fighting, the kicking of ass, the suffering thru the yuck and indignity of the treatment process, while all we have to do is sit back and watch you do it. Believing in you and your ability to emerge victorious is so easy that it almost makes me feel bad for not being tired with you, being sick with you. Then again, now is pro’ly the only time I’d ever be able to keep up with you, so…

  9. When my dad was getting daily radiation, they made him use Aquaphor. Careful with petrolatum-based products on burns, though – they can keep nastiness in. Ask your doc about good lotion. Aloe, maybe?

    You are not whiny. In fact, your sanity is inspiring.

    Radiation makes EVERYONE drag ass. Tiredness is the name of the game. However, you seem to be winning said game. Keep kicking ass.

    Three…

  10. It’s in the bag, Ez! Just imagine all those hearty, laid back breakfasts you will be enjoying in beautiful Nova Scotia soon enough!!!

  11. Say it with me. “Fuck cancer, fuck the side-effects of treatment, fuck feeling tire, fuck this shit, I’m Ezra. Cancer is my bitch.”

  12. Allez allez! Go man and get it done then it’ll be licked, whipped and stuffed. Hang in there and if you need to whine a little you’re entitled. You’ve been a model patient as far as I can tell from checking this blog and your flikr space. My thoughts are with you.

  13. My grandparents’ drive was lined with equidistant trees. When my mom was little, and would walk with my grandpa up to the main road to collect the mail from the box, the tired toddler whined and panted. But my grandpa encouraged, “Just to the next tree, Helen,” until, at last, they reached the road.

    3,2,1.

  14. i am counting down so freakin hard! actually, i think there are only 2 left as i speak!! almost there…

    ps. ez, you give excellent advice.