January 31st, 2012
Because 10.1K sounds so much more impressive than 6.27 miles! Then again, 500 feet of elevation change sounds more impressive than 156 meters!
I’d love to say that it was no big deal.. but it actually felt like something of an accomplishment. I think I’ll rest for a couple days and then do a week or so of shorter runs before I do something like that again.
Now. On to what’s important. Poop.
I have taken to irrigation like a duck to water! From the little I’ve read about it, this is not always the case. Apparently it takes some people several weeks to adjust to it.. and for some, it never works at all. For me, it worked the first try (it was a messy disaster, because the medical supply company was out of the sleeves you use to guide the effluence into the toilet, so I went bare back, BUT it worked!!) The amount of time that it buys you continence is different for different people, too. The first time, I went 48 hours without producing anything at all. Hill and I spent a long weekend in Chicago to see our niece, Vern, and I irrigated for the second time just before we left. Nothing started to happen again until I was on the plane headed back (about 74 hours later!!). To be safe, I think I will probably just do it every other morning and know that I can just wear a little cap instead of a bag, and not have to worry about a thing!
This thing is pretty cool. Little cap that protects the stoma, and has a charcoal filter so that inadvertent farting doesn’t stink up the room (more than I can say for all of you folks with butt-butts instead of belly-butts).
The process is a little bizarre.
The first trick is getting the cone into the stoma. The bowel, of course, is driven entirely by autonomic function. That is to say that you don’t really have any control over it’s contractions.. Getting it to accept the cone is a bit of a Jedi mind trick (“These are not the droids you are looking for..”). You take some deep breaths and sort of will the thing in there. Getting the bowel to accept water at that point is similarly mysterious. Patience. Remembering to breath, etc. Once the water starts going, it GOES. And when it starts coming out, it COMES OUT!! That’s when things get really exciting (it’s also when your wife will say, “baby? Um.. I just need to get my toothbrush.. can I come in?” and you have to say, “NO! I’m feeling a little vulnerable at the moment!”). I won’t describe it, I don’t think, but I WILL tell you that it’s magic. And I WILL tell you that I don’t sit on the toilet like YOU do.
The whole thing leaves me feeling a little light headed and euphoric.
What an amazing difference, though, to never have a bag of shit hanging from you. There are wardrobe implications.. etc. I’ll have to do a little research, but it’s my understanding that there are caps that are even lower profile. I’ll report back.
Those of you out there in my position, give it a try if you haven’t. It’s well worth it. (please, if you have questions, don’t hesitate to write. I don’t know much, but I’m happy to share!)
Ok. I’m off to the shop to make some stools (impossible to avoid poop talk once you get started..) But really. I am.