May 1st, 2011
The trend of worsening rounds has held true right up to the last. This is the first time since monday that I’ve felt the energy to write. The pain has been the worst so far. The last couple of nights have been pretty impossible. Yesterday I got out of bed to make dinner. That was it. The erbitux, has obvisouly been doing ITS work as well. But I will heal fast. Tomorrow I’ll get my final off week top up of garbage, and this whole bloody thing will be officially finished. I’m feeling like an outclassed boxer whose only goal was to make it to the end of the fight. And here we are. Beaten and bloodied. Still standing, though (actually laying down a LOT, but you get my meaning).
Thomas’ last burgundy stain sessions show at LPR was GREAT. Maybe I posted the rehearsal video that I made? There are videos up now of the performances too! A good one of Glen singing a Stevie Wonder song. Another of Sara Quin singing Prince. Fun show.
I’m getting very excited about feeling well enough to get into new shop building mode. Doc says, “so.. for the next month at least, I want you to take it absolutely easy.. nothing strenuous.” “Right doc.. I understand..” I say, thinking about the various pieces of 300lb+ bits of equipment that will be moving in over the next month. Hmm.. Oh well. I’ve said it before, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt me.
I want to thank you all, once again, for following along. It makes all the difference in the world. From my experience last time, I know that this next year will be no picnic. I will be making every effort, however, this time to keep on writing. Whether it ends up being about food, or tools and jigs I’m making in the shop, I think it will be helpful for me to stay connected to you all in some way. Uncertainty, listlessness, fear, depression, are par for the course apparently, for people who go through this shit. Unfortunately, they are all much harder to write about than the straight up physical details of surgeries and treatments. Now we step into the world of intangibles!