10k

Because 10.1K sounds so much more impressive than 6.27 miles!  Then again, 500 feet of elevation change sounds more impressive than 156 meters!

I’d love to say that it was no big deal..  but it actually felt like something of an accomplishment.  I think I’ll rest for a couple days and then do a week or so of shorter runs before I do something like that again.

Now.  On to what’s important.  Poop.

I have taken to irrigation like a duck to water!  From the little I’ve read about it, this is not always the case.  Apparently it takes some people several weeks to adjust to it..  and for some, it never works at all.  For me, it worked the first try (it was a messy disaster, because the medical supply company was out of the sleeves you use to guide the effluence into the toilet, so I went bare back, BUT it worked!!) The amount of time that it buys you continence is different for different people, too.  The first time, I went 48 hours without producing anything at all.  Hill and I spent a long weekend in Chicago to see our niece, Vern, and I irrigated for the second time just before we left.  Nothing started to happen again until I was on the plane headed back (about 74 hours later!!).  To be safe, I think I will probably just do it every other morning and know that I can just wear a little cap instead of a bag, and not have to worry about a thing!

Game changer!!!

This thing is pretty cool.  Little cap that protects the stoma, and has a charcoal filter so that inadvertent farting doesn’t stink up the room (more than I can say for all of you folks with butt-butts instead of belly-butts).

The process is a little bizarre.

The first trick is getting the cone into the stoma.  The bowel, of course, is driven entirely by autonomic function.  That is to say that you don’t really have any control over it’s contractions..  Getting it to accept the cone is a bit of a Jedi mind trick (“These are not the droids you are looking for..”).  You take some deep breaths and sort of will the thing in there.  Getting the bowel to accept water at that point is similarly mysterious.  Patience.  Remembering to breath, etc.  Once the water starts going, it GOES. And when it starts coming out, it COMES OUT!! That’s when things get really exciting (it’s also when your wife will say, “baby?  Um.. I just need to get my toothbrush.. can I come in?”  and you have to say, “NO!  I’m feeling a little vulnerable at the moment!”).  I won’t describe it, I don’t think, but I WILL tell you that it’s magic. And I WILL tell you that I don’t sit on the toilet like YOU do.

The whole thing leaves me feeling a little light headed and euphoric.

What an amazing difference, though, to never have a bag of shit hanging from you.  There are wardrobe implications..  etc.  I’ll have to do a little research, but it’s my understanding that there are caps that are even lower profile.  I’ll report back.

Those of you out there in my position, give it a try if you haven’t.  It’s well worth it.  (please, if you have questions, don’t hesitate to write. I don’t know much, but I’m happy to share!)

Ok.  I’m off to the shop to make some stools (impossible to avoid poop talk once you get started..)  But really.  I am.

27 Responses to “10k”

  1. Mike

    Make stools as in “stools” (pointing to sitting vehicle) or “stools” pointing to belly/butt butt? The end of this update is a little confusing. :-)

  2. John C

    Stoked for you, FB.

  3. Andre

    Hooraay! So glad that the irrigation thing worked for you, Ezra!

  4. Burnt Umber

    Laughed my ass off Ez. Hill must love you to death.

  5. Elizabeth

    I find all of this bizarre and fascinating. Thank you for sharing.

  6. April

    Sounds like post-defecation euphoria! Heard that term on a morning show many years ago and it always stuck in my mind.
    Your running, sir, is commendable.

  7. maggie

    what a fabulous invention! & i wonder if charcoal filters would work on butt-butts?

  8. kris

    Yay for you! And if I may say so…I think you’re getting your abs back. ;)

    You’re truly an inspiration Ezra.

  9. kendall

    darling! you’re looking en forme! running and flushing… somewhat of a miracle cleansing regime.
    i remember when C and i used to do the wild rose cleanse, after a couple days of herbal laxatives we’d get the ol’ rumble, followed by momentary panic then a dash to the nearest toilet. then… euphoria! gotta take it in any form it is offered to you ;)

    glad for the uplifting post,
    X

  10. Steph

    Awesome! So happy irrigation works for you.

  11. Eliz

    Ezra, You look great! Whatever you are doing, keep it up. It’s working for ya.

  12. Cyclin' Missy

    Shit, yah! Sounds awesome! I hope it continues to come out for you so well!

  13. Tyler

    As long as we’re taking the irreverent approach, I submit a tried and true joke: Q: What did the constipated mathematician do? A: Worked it out with a pencil. Best of luck. 10k ain’t nothin’ to sneeze at.

  14. holly

    Ok. So when I look at the map of your latest run it looks like a sea-horse. And the last one looked like a heart. Beats rorschach ink blots!

    Tomorrow I challenge you to draw/run a four leaf clover.

  15. Daniel

    That shit’s awesome!

  16. Christina

    Wicked happy to hear this news.

    You know, it’s not just those with belly-butts that can benefit from colon irrigation. Cleansing the bowel is a tremendous thing for anyone to do and I’ve heard people talk about the euphoria they feel after having a colonic. Can’t say I’ve felt particularly high after having one but there’s always a first time.

  17. megan

    shit, yah…hahaha. pooptacular!

  18. ashley

    I love everything about this post! That picture is the best in quite some time. Even the way you’re pressing the timer is cool:) I feel like I should have more to say but I’m still laughing over “these are not the droids you are looking for.” This is awesome:) Thx for sharing:)

  19. Maria

    Puts a new twist on the High Colonic. SO glad you are finding ways to feel more normal and human rather than being attached to a shit bag!! ok, now I am going out for a run. I have no more excuses.

    not a one.

    XO!!

  20. Laurie

    I don’t know that I will ever have a need, nor a desire, to congratulate someone on successful bowel irrigation – but Congrats! :)

  21. Andrew Heist

    Great news. I have not checked up on the blog in ages I am ashamed to say, but it looks like things are looking up. Glad to see your still the kick ass Ezra I remember.

  22. Caroline

    Still checking in on this blog every once in a while – I love it. Happy to hear you are getting back on the saddle! So rad.

    Having sort of “specialized” in enterostomal therapy as a hospital nurse for a while (mostly by the fact I liked it whereas most other nurses, and certainly most patients, hated it), I can say this blog post is really valuable. I hope it’s searchable so that other people coming home with “poop bags” can read your accounts, see this very important photo, and benefit from your great attitude and hard-earned wisdom.

    More people than anyone ever realizes end up with colostomies and other ostomies, for all sorts of reasons… they’re in great company.

  23. Maria Llamazares Prada

    I’m amazed Ezra!!! I’m now for 3 months with colostoma bags and didn’t know about the irrigation and bag-free situation afterwards, but also outraged from the lack of info!!! My situation comes from at least three different medical malpractice that lead to a (let’s hope) temporary colostoma after a small laparoscopic not really necessary treatment. Anyway, 3 surgeries later, scary times though, 34 days at 3 hospitals, and huge recovery unpleasant time, nothing to do with all what you’re going through, you’re brave and tough, doesn’t matter you face some nervous breakdowns, after all you’re human… Luckily you’re surrounded by great people and us!!! I’m catching up with your blog, absolutely fascinated, and directed here by my great brother-in law, a tumor scientist and cyclist, weird combination ;). I wish you and Hill all the best… Big love!

    PS: Have a PhD in tumor biology and tons of friends doing great research on cancer, hopefully after my next surgery I’ll recover soon enough to go back to the bench!! please let me know if we could be somehow helpful.

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