Busy busy.




A wonderful day of pool with Jeremiah yesterday.  Big Mama Sheridan came to pick me up and watched for the last half hour or so, then did the dinner shopping with me at the farmer’s market and swung through B and H photo with me to pick up the paper that I’ll need to keep up with the orders that you all are placing!!  (and another lens for my new little camera..  I’m so loving the little thing).  A wonderful Nova Scotia-esque meal last night..  Really good potato salad made with this year’s new potatoes parboiled and then rolled in olive oil and grilled.  Lightly smashed and then dressed with sauteed garlic scapes (they just keep showing up at the farmer’s market!!), olive oil/butter, and whatever fresh herbs I found growing in our little garden.  SO nice.  Grilled corn on the cob and purple carrots.  Smoked Andouille.   Not sure exactly what made it feel so Nova Scotia.  Perhaps I’ve just go the place on the brain.

This weeks offering of photos is up, and is all about the longing I’m feeling for that place at the moment, but I’ll let you read about it over there.  It is so gratifying to me that you are buying theses prints.  The chance to go back through the photos I’ve taken over the years and to put them into distinct little sets is a really moving process for me.  Please, if you’ve received prints, let me know what you think!  What sort of shape were they in when they arrived?  Is the packing adequate?  The print, on paper, will NOT look exactly as it does on the screen.  There is the fundamental difference between projected and reflected light, but also, I work with the images a bit to make them look the way I want them to on paper.  If ANY of you are disappointed with the results, please understand that this is a 100% satisfaction guaranteed operation.  Send them back!!   I’ve added a little “how it works” section to the for sale tab..  It includes some instructions for you international folks to save a little money on shipping if you plan to make multiple orders.


Pill flasks.   These things are coming, folks.  In fact, I may finish them up today.  I have gotten more requests to be put on the waiting list than I have made pill flasks.  In addition..   there IS no waiting list.  These will go up for sale and it will be first come first serve.  I’m sorry about that.  But I think it’s the fairest way to do it.  I’m really excited about them.  The other day I made a stamping machine so that I could number them all beautifully.  Now I just need to head out to the shop and make the tops.

They will cost $88.  Because I like the number.  And because it seems like the RIGHT number for a pill flask.  Can’t say why.  People have told me to charge more.  I’m not interested in that so much, though.

I will sell them in two sales.   The times of the sales will be announced ahead of time here on the blog, and on face place.   I will try to pick two times that make it fair for east and west coasters,  AND international customers.

Everyone dig?




The other night I had one of those all night long waking anxiety image/dreams.  I was hurting quite a bit.  Cancer pain.  That pre-sacral where my asshole used to be pain, which I now know corresponds with a tumor that’s quickly growing to fill that cavity.  The dream/image was of a grid of photographs (photos on the brain), OF the pain (aren’t dreams wild, I couldn’t describe these photos if asked to)..  Slowly as the night progressed, and I got up to pee.. to take medication.. to pee again..  the photos in the grid disappeared one by one.  It was clear in this ongoing vision that eventually there would just be one photo left.  One REAL photo of the cancer, and when that one disappeared I’d be dead.  It felt very much as though it could happen that night.

I woke up in the morning, though.  Still very much alive.  Pain somehow back under control.  Proceeded to have a very good day.  More than not, I am feeling pretty good.  Still wishing that the days had a few more hours in them!!  This one already half frittered away on the computer!!  Time to get moving!  I need a few hours in the shop, before I head downtown to gamble on a little one pocket!

Thank you all for such a response to my last post on palliative and hospice care.  I’m thinking about this a lot these days and thinking about ways to get involved.  Much more to come.  Please stay tuned.



FB out.


2:09 adendum
OK gang. I’ve gotten a boat load of emails requesting it. I’ve added a few prints for those of you who didn’t wake up early. This weekend my cousin Ben will be coming down to give me a hand with the labeling and packaging, so I think I can handle it. DON’T expect this to happen regularly!  Now I’m going out to the shop, dammit!!   *winks*



30 Replies to “Busy busy.”

  1. ezra

    you are the greatest guy, a light in a dark world and even though we’ve never met and i’ve only read your blog, i have a strong feeling that my world and THE world will be poorer without you in it

    i hope you will be here for a long time. i bug you from time to time about trying other avenues, if not for a cure because it may be too late for that, at least for less pain and better quality and some kind of extension

    people like you are in short supply. we can’t afford to lose any prematurely

  2. You continue to be an inspiration of perseverance to me, Ezra. I live in New Brunswick, right next to Nova Scotia, and I am ashamed to say, I have not visited there for a number of years, and I love Nova Scotia! I wish I could live there.
    I will make it a point to go there, just for you, and wish you peace and happiness along the rest of your journey. I think I will do that at Peggy’s Cove, my favourite place to visit down there.
    I love your pill flasks. I may have to splurge and buy one, as I do take a lot of pills, and often have to carry some with me.
    Be wonderful, Ezra.

    With Love and Kindness,

  3. Ezra – would you please make more of photo 1 in the new set (Putney, “Yellow”) available? I just logged on and went to buy it and it has sold out and I SO VERY MUCH WANT THAT PHOTO ON MY WALL!!!!

    You can charge me double and I will STILL buy it. Yes, I am actually begging!

    Hugs, Sandra

  4. Hello Ezra,
    I can’t remember how I found your blog but you have claimed a place in my thoughts and heart. Maybe it was because I went to The Putney School? Maybe it was because I spent close to 20 years in NYC, maybe… who knows.

    It sounds so cliche and blech to say you are an inspiration – but there you have it. You are. From your passion of cooking, to art in all its forms, to playing pool and loving up on your wife and dog. You are living! We’re all dying but many of us are dying more than we are living — and that’s without any kind of fatal disease.

    So continue to carpe diem, celebrate deliciousness, gather friends and loved ones, create beauty, and play pool. No matter when you move on to the next thing after this life, you will remain in the hearts and minds of strangers and loved ones alike.

    Wishing you the best of days and all the love you deserve.

  5. No problem with your packaging Ezra, my photo sailed through and into my paws with ease and in excellent shape! Thank you for the lovely surprise of these beautiful photos this morning, and, I cannot wait to behold my own pill flask–if I should be so lucky. I’ll be waiting for your “ready, start” on the blog to punch in my paypal payment. As for your “killer” dream, I’m so sad about the pain, especially when you do the world good by sharing so much of yourself. People haven’t lived until they’ve experienced a ruptured colostomy bag or a multitude of other mind numbing events. You inspire and add beauty to the world for so many of us, know that you are in our thoughts daily, dog bliss you, Hill and Putney, xo

  6. Dear friend, my poor English doesen’t allow me to express my feelings prperly: so sorry…..
    Just wanted to let U know you are always in our prayers and thoughts, mine and those of my little children, and we are all looking forward to receiving one of your beautiful photos (bought one this morning: thanks to the GMT I think I was the first to do it…).
    You are a great person, thank you so much for sharing your life with us.
    From the other side of the planet, love
    CHIARA – Firenze.

  7. Well, I can easily see from your post that I am completely unoriginal in my requests/comments. I am happy for that, as it means I get to feel like you’re answering me with your post! Cuz it’s all about me of course. 🙂

    Hope you don’t spend another moment on the computer today – go play, make, eat, laugh…

    I will await the chance to test my speed when the pill flask sale is announced!

    Very glad your pain is being relatively well managed.

  8. Dear Ezra,

    The pic with you on the bike making the pic top-down…grand.

    Could you please offer more..it is grand..it reminds me…of times..
    But i did never look as handsome as you are.

    I just had a drink after a short ride..it, the ride and the wine, make me more emotional…carolyn is right..i might not know you..or maybe your posts gave more insight of who you, and Hill, are…more than you might think..
    People like you are special. People like Hill too.
    Brother..you are not gone yet..but i feel sorry never meeting you guys.
    Also the people writing all these posts..
    They are special…they feel..for you.

    Pardon….the fatigue and the intoxication make me talk this way.

    Brother..as mentioned before. You are on my mind.

    Slowboy salutes Fastboy

  9. Hey Ezra. I purchased a print of your face, bloody nose. It arrived with the cardboard a wee bit pinched but the photo was beautifully intact. My son is a photographer and he was stunned and moved by the rough beauty of the shot. I thought Diane Arbus or Mary Ellen Mark he thought Gregory Crewdson and we discussed this at length so that’s where we go aesthetically speaking then we wandered around the house to find a place to put it. The print is at the framers right now being placed on a large white mat with a black frame. Thank you. What joy to add your remarkable self portrait to my slowly growing art collection.

  10. My photo from the first set arrived in pristine condition and I love the little stickers on the edges! I hope it will be the first of 6 – 8 that I will frame identically and put on my living room wall lined up horizontally.

    Okay, who out there got an order placed for “Yellow” before it sold out and will have mercy on me and resell it to me for more than you paid for it? Pretty Please? Anybody?

  11. Ezra,
    You are such an inspiration to myself and many other people in this world.
    Sharing your life affects many of us, keep living the way you are – you truley are an inspiration!

  12. Everyday that an update pops up in my email, I eagerly open it to read about what your next project is going to be. Amazing, man. You are amazing, an inspiration. I told my dad about the pill flasks and he, a man who likes to make things, could not get over how cool of an idea it was. Coming from my dad, that’a a big deal. 🙂

  13. I know I over post here or on facebook. But, I can’t help it. Maybe I think I am then able to have a real conversation with you? Or it makes me feel good to know that so many others feel the same way I do about you. It is just so strange to feel so much about a person I have never met, so much love for your amazing dog and such admiration for your beautiful wife. I just want to express my gratitude. My husband ordered a Putney picture today and it made me cry out of joy. The kids have been asking for the past few days about getting one and we missed out. But today we had success! It means so much.
    YOur soul has shined through to me since the first time I came across you on flickr. That is a rare quality for people to have. Your words through the years are some of the most graceful I have read and most touching. You are a gift.
    I am rambling and will stop. I can say it again and again, thank you, Ezra, from the bottom of my heart. Love to you all.

  14. That pool-mom-market-photo-cook day sounds sublime.
    Like perfect.
    Your Nova Scotia memories are breaking my heart a little. I remember a few years back reading about your trip up there to “Heal Up A Bit” after your last round of chemo. Hilarious. Because all I remember reading was motor/oar snafus, you paddling a sinking boat into the wind, you helping a friend with a… I think it was a floating barge? You checking in on another friend and finding his boat capsized. You hauling that boat out of the water and fixing the engine (of course). I think my reaction was somewhere between a laugh and a heart-felt WTF ARE YOU DOING but mostly those crazy stories told me that that place was clearly sacred to you.
    I am so loving this trip down memory lane / story behind the photo bits you’re doing. It’s hard but it’s great. It’s Hard. But this was the best idea…

  15. Ezra, my fast boy delivery turned up on my doorstep today, in perfect condition. I’m delighted to have this beautiful object. Setting aside the ‘thing-in-itself’, which was exquisite, I can’t think of anything re: printing, packaging, shipping, etc. that you should do differently.

    In sum: everything was really lovely, which is of course no surprise (but still wondrous, & made my day).

  16. hey Ez, flasks are gorgeous. please make your first-come-first serve ordering system available for INTERNATIONAL buyers!
    big hugs

  17. I have on the wall beside my computer a picture your Mom sent me on January 3rd of this year – taken of you, Hillary and Putney – lying on the couch alongside the Christmas Tree and each night without fail – after checking your blog – I kiss you all goodnight…

    You are deep within our hearts Ezra…

  18. your images’re great (of course). i’m honored to have one. i have to say here that you look pretty good for a guy who’s fixin’ to MAYBE not be around much longer. at least. i’m not a praying type, but i do whatever for you and yours. keep on, fast! keep on!

  19. exactly how i feel, jrobtp. i think ezra is basically in great shape except for cancer and all the immune system stuff that conventional medicine gives a person to “fight” cancer. it’s a wonder anyone survives it!

    there are practitioners right here in NYC, who would give him vitamin IVs and digestive enzymes that would build back his immune system and maybe even shrink the cancer some. it might be too tale for a cure, but i believe an extension is possible with less pain and less need for heavy narcotics

    corinne furnnari on west 49th and dr nicholas gonzales in the east 30s are two that spring to mind. the only side effects are feeling better

  20. sorry, i meant to say “the immune system DESTROYING stuff that conventional medicine gives a person to “fight” cancer”

    it’s no wonder that when cancer recurrs, it’s always bigger and stronger than it was before. the few cells hiding out that survived the first onslaught of chemo and radiation (and are too small to show up on scans) suddenly have an open playing field. they were strong enough to outlast the poison in the first place and now they’ve been handed an even weaker immune system. without any resistance, they come back with a vengeance!


    corinne furnari 646-734-9437

    nicholas gonzales 212-213-3337

  21. Sabes, te encontré muy guapo hoy. Claro que siempre lo has sido pero hoy en particular estabas guapísimo. ¡Lila lo paso bomba! Putney es un angel. Si. Me hizo falta Hill. Mi Padre dice que te manda un abrazo. Yo te doy los que quieras.

  22. I’m still bummed that “Yellow” from the Nova Scotia series sold out before I could get one. I really think if you put that up again you could sell some more! (that’s my “subtle” begging)

    I just saw the new set and LOVE “He pretty much hangs out like this” – but it’s sold out. (more begging…….)

    Hugs to you, H and Putney

  23. Ezra,

    I found you through commonalities – cancer and bicycles. You, your story, your talent, your expression and perseverance is now a part of my daily thoughts. I thank you for that. I purchased one of your prints and received it yesterday. I was so taken with the simple yet detailed packagingothers to see. Such detail does not go unnoticed. Heck, just from the pictures of your pill flask stamping process, I can only imagine the final presentation. Thank you for putting you in the world to be discovered.

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