Getting darker

I woke up in what felt like the wee hours this morning when hill got up to pee.  Looked at the clock and it was already nearly 7:00!!  It’s overcast, sure, but it is also getting to be that dark time of year.  The clocks will roll back next weekend and that’ll help things a little, BUT then we’ll have to start dealing with the fact that it’s dark by 4 in the afternoon!!  Can’t win for loosing! No handball after work anymore.

I haven’t written anything here for a while.

I’m reminded of the Chekhov quotation..   “Any idiot can handle a crisis, it’s this day to day living that wears you out.”  I’m not sure of the connection, exactly.  Except that when things are in crisis, it brings your mind into sharp focus.  When the goal is simple(staying alive?), talking about it can be pretty simple.  When the crisis is averted (at least for a while) your focus broadens to start including all the smaller distractions that seemed so insignificant when you were putting out the fire.  It’s a lot harder to know what to say when all of those small distractions creep back in.  My brain is busy these days.  Full of competing ideas all wanting my attention.  It makes it hard to do these posts! It leaves me with everything and nothing to say.

I’ll try short declarative sentences.

I’ve been mountain biking a lot, and it’s like having found religion.  It has renewed my interest in bicycles.

I have interesting projects coming up in the shop, and am mostly quite happy to be working.

It’s been a long while since I had any sort of the diagnostic tests that reassure me that I am well.   I have occasional moments of fear of recurrence, but mostly not.

I play pool every Wednesday with my friend Jeremiah.

I’m going to start making sausage.

Yesterday I got a huge bag of potatoes from Vermont.

potato vs dog


Not very interesting.  I’ll try again later.





10 Replies to “Getting darker”

  1. I’ve had the same experience with mountain biking. I was given a mountain bike in exchange for watching a co-worker’s dog for a few weeks and it’s made me ride better on my road bike. On top of that, if I don’t have time to do a long ride on the road, I can do a short mountain ride and feel really good about it. It’s like a yin and yang situation.

  2. This is where you come upon the “positive” thing normally cited about the cancer experience. Clarity. With no doctor appointment in sight, you might be transitioning back into normal people world, but you can recognize the difference.

    On a weirdly connected note, I’ve been doing paleo/primal/bulletproof for the last month and the clear head and intense focused energy you have from it is quite akin to the first several months after diagnosis.

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  4. It’s perfect enough, the writing. We just want to hear from you and what’s going on in your life. Keep living and keep writing.


  5. Hello!
    Found you blog via a German food coach named Lu who loves your cooking films. You can really cook and it looks delicious.

    BUT I think you cook at a rather high temperature and the lamb meat and potatoes for example look rather burnt in the end. Be careful, because coooking at too high temperatures is risky:

    I’m sorry to post a comment the first time ever on your blog and being so like a know-all!


    PS Your bicycles are gorgeous, if I lived in the US I would pass by and order one.

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