I’m fine, thank you

A few of you have written recently to point out that it has been a while.  Time flies when  you’re not in treatment, I guess.  All is well.  I’m working hard in the shop.  Currently, taking a week or so out to work on the prototype of a lightweight urban cargo bike.  More on that soon (I’ll finish the frame today or tomorrow, and will throw parts on it as soon as they all arrive..  tuesday?  wednesday?). Even though it is still august, we’ve had a slightly cooler spell recently.  So very welcome.  It’s been cool enough at night that Putney and Hill have been back to their old tricks.  When I come upstairs after making coffee in the morning, I usually carry a camera.  In case.

After the last post, I got an unusual number of emails.  As it turns out there are many of you out there who are familiar enough with the kind of terrifying episode I had that afternoon up in Nova Scotia.  In some ways it sounds as though I got off pretty easy! (there’s a scary thought). Happily, I haven’t had any repeats of that event since.  I have had moments of the kind of nagging doubt that triggered the thing, but a sort of impotent version of it that doesn’t drag me down to any real level of despair.  I suppose I’m waiting for it.

Briefly.  The sciatica persists.  Good days and bad, but never really gone.  I’m getting stronger.  (I’m a full 20 pounds heavier than I was when I came home from the hospital!  Maybe that’s a little excessive).  I feel as though the chemo messed up my connective tissue.  Any of you cancer folks out there know what I’m talking about?  My joints hurt.  And ligaments.  And Tendons.  It doesn’t take much.  Hoping that it’s just a body beat up from chemo slowly recovering..   Hoping that it’s not a question of natural aging that snuck up on me while I was distracted!  I am, however, medication free.

Getting some baby time in Chicago with our new niece, Violet, was amazing.  A little angel.  One afternoon while Hill and Leslie got ice cream, I wandered around the neighborhood with violet.  No stroller, no diaper bag, just baby.  People can’t help but smile at you when you’ve got a baby.  It seems to bring out the humanity in most.

“oh she’s precious!!   congratulations..”

I was more than happy to not correct them.

“how old is she?”

After the 10th person or so I started to be tempted to say, “I’m not really sure…  she was a stray.”

I want one.

11 Replies to “I’m fine, thank you”

  1. good god, that is a gorgeous kid:)

    My best friend had bladder cancer in college. He felt like an 80-year-old man for a full three years after treatment, but he DID feel better after that — and he DOES feel better today. I remember days he’d come home from the gym, having lasted about 5 minutes on an elliptical, literally in tears (from frustration and total pissed-off despair) too sore and too tired to do anything but fume over it. And those days really f*cking sucked. A lot. But very, very slowly his strength and stamina came back. He still has days when regional soreness will come out of nowhere, but nothing at all like it used to be — and he had a TON of radiation, so some long term nerve damage is to be expected.

    I know unsolicited testimonials can be grating, and if you’ve seen one cancer surviver, you’ve seen one, but I just wanted to tell you that I’m sitting about ten feet from one such survivor, and he had ungodly amounts of chemo and radiation and for a long time he gave up on ever feeling better, but he does in fact better. Strong. More like the 30-year-old rugby-playing guy he is.

    We’re sending much love to you, Ezra:) We’re big fans:) So glad to hear you’re doing well.

    PS: I’m sorry if this comes off as creepy, seeing as how we’ve never met, but YES please oh please would you two have a kid:)

  2. Hah. You should’ve told people someone was just handing them out from a cardboard box down the street. Babies are pretty amazing. Sending lots of love brother, been thinking about you guys. 🙂

  3. LOL! Valancy!!! 🙂 I concur – you guys should work on a little sibling for Putney. Purely for our own enjoyment of course… it’s not all about YOU, you know. Sheesh.

    I’ll ask my cancer-familiar pals about the ligament issue. My first thought is that it could definitely be a residual chemo thing. Have you been sleeping in a different position due to your re-located poop-hole? (that’s a technical term we use in cancer circles.) The sciatica could be a result of that, which a chiropractor might be able to help with. The nerve-damage comment is on target too, but did you have radiation? I can’t remember…

  4. You have a very cute little niece there. Hey, I just got back from Chicago. I was there for the last month and a half. 🙂

  5. Ya gotta be careful though, once you have one it’s hard to stop. ; )

    We heart and miss you. Why doncha ya guys come on over and have a beer with us, Brussels style?

    Mar Beatty and the clan

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