I finished my penultimate round of chemo on thursday. Wow. Just one to go. On friday, Zach (brother) and I took the train up to Vermont. We decided to stay at the old man’s house. I slept in his room. A little strange to be in the room, in fact on the bed, where he took his life. Though not as strange as I’d have imagined. I woke up early in the morning, a misty vermont spring morning, to these beautiful little daffodils on the window sill. No ghosts here at all.
We met this morning with a women from the crematorium to sign some paper work. I’ll probably go and visit him tomorrow, before they burn him up. There were a few things that I didn’t get a chance to say.
I spent a good part of the day in his shop. Cleaning it up a bit. He clearly hadn’t been in there for a while. I’m working on a new bar design. The “billsam,” naturally. Pictures tomorrow. It would have pleased him to no end to have some action in the shop.. some local classic rock station playing on the radio.
I’m finding, quite naturally, that my memories are all fond. We’re eating.. we’re drinking. We’re doing the things in his house that he used to love doing WITH us. I find myself wishing he could join in.
The mint has taken over in the old garden spot. Having a mint julep. That’s me at about 2 and a half in the morning with Bigsam.