It’s back!

I got home yesterday from a third opinion appointment that just served to confuse things a little more and  found a big wooden crate waiting for me.  The ASSLESS is back!  I built it up post haste.  I know that there will be those out there that miss the matte black rattle can job, and think that I’m messing with an icon to change anything!!   Those maybe who feel that this new approach is a little too flashy.. maybe even a little too literal! (“Come on, Ezra..  an angry red ass on the assless!!???”).  To you, I say.. get over it.  I’m the one who has to ride the bloody torture machine, and I felt that it was time for a change.  So I present to you the Assless Mark II.

I had such a nice time putting it back together. It was the first I’d done anything with my hands in almost 2 months!  It made me really miss it all.  Riding it feels fine.  Just as tiring as I remember it!  I took a nice flat ride over to Modsquad cycles to pick up some new grips for it this morning, just to test things out (and by “things,” I mean the anatomical adjustments to my whatsis.. ) and when that seemed fine, I made the climb up the big hill to Grant’s Tomb to take a few pictures.  I’m guessing I’ll feel it later, but maybe not. I will not always need to ride this thing.  Just for the time being while the perineal incision heals.  The docs haven’t exactly cleared me to ride it..  but I figure, what they don’t know can’t hurt me.

This weekend I’m in the throws of trying to come to terms with these second and third opinions that I got over the last few days.  The good news is that both docs felt that it wasn’t unreasonable to expect that this could be a cure!  That I could go through the 6 months of chemo and then be done.. never have to deal with it again.  This is a FAR more optimistic outlook than we had been allowing ourselves to have!  They both agreed that I needed to do the chemo (BLAST!!  was hoping that one would say, “ah shit..  don’t bother.. I’m guessing you’re cured NOW!!  Get back to work.. go build some bikes.”  No. wait.  What I was actually hoping for was that they’d come back from going over my films and say, “Um.. daniel.  We’ve got some great news!  Uh..   there was a bit of a mix up with the pathology reports..  These weren’t yours, in fact.  There’s nothing wrong with YOU.  This other guys is in pretty serious trouble, however..  Oh.  And we’re SUPER sorry about that colostomy!” at which point we could discuss the exact figures of the settlement).  What they’re disagreeing on is what drugs to use.  I won’t go into the details.  It boils down to using a drug that I’ve had before, which obviously didn’t work, or using a different drug which has a much lower success rate.  Use the really big gun that didn’t work last time and hope that it works this time, or use the pea shooter, just in case my cancer is really defenseless against pea shooters.  Hard choice.

0 Replies to “It’s back!”

  1. holy smokes ezra — its beautiful! lets see some flying assless pics pronto. cuz once you get all this behind you, that pretty bike is gonna be a might bit lonely.

  2. oh, goodness, I wish you’d gotten the opinion that would’ve led to the BIG CASH SETTLEMENT $$$, too, but the runner-up news is pretty good. I don’t have any way of knowing whether the formerly-not-effective-rocket-launcher or the untested-pea-shooter would be better, I just hope for the best results for you.
    (and–Yay!! for the bike’s return in its new racing colors!)

  3. I like how it is kinda like the red-cross symbol too. Which has a nice double-meaning as a bike you ride when you’re undergoing medical care.

  4. at least you know when you ride assless, YOUR ass (at least the gluteal parts) will benefit. It’s awesome, and I love and hate the opinions you got too… Ride on, Assless Man!

  5. ezra,

    the weisenthal cancer group in california does functional tumor cell profiling which can determine what chemos will work on your specific tumor. there’s no need to subject yourself to massive toxic side effects if the drug has a low rate of return. sadly, in the US they only tend to do this testing AFTER several rounds of standard protocol chemo have failed, at which point why bother

    in germany and greece if you can imagine, they can do blood test profiling which is much less invasive. but since you have a solid tumor and since they probably saved some of it, why not ask them about sending it off to be tested? it could help cast the deciding vote.

    my friend abe’s tumor was sent to weisenthal for testing, after two rounds of different chemos had failed. why wasn’t it done first?

    well, doctors are resistant to change and many of them mistake this more advanced test for one they used to use that didn’t work. also, insurance companies and hospitals demand that certain standard protocols be followed and in the idiocy of their thinking, the testing comes after failure, not before when it might have prevented failure

  6. I’m going to take my saddle off and ride with you. I’m a friend of Bill’s. Though I’ve never met you, I’ve been able to keep tabs on you thru this here website for a couple years. You my friend are a much bigger person than most people I’ve come across. Your bikes are beautiful. Keep fighting.

  7. ezra-
    another thing. it’s not that the chemo didn’t work last time. it did- to the extent that it was able. with cancer,, if there are just a few cells left somewhere, too small to be picked up on any scan, and a person has a weakened immune system, which they most certainly do after chemo, the cancer cells will go about their multiplying until they gain a foothold. that’s why remissions so often come to an end.
    when oncologists speak about “response rates” or say things like “the cancer is responding well to this drug” what they really mean is that the tumor has shrunk some agreed upon amount for at least a month before the disease progresses again.
    of course, it can be a year or two before progression, but if they get a month, they count it as a success!
    the hopeful patient, on the other hand, doesn’t understand this lingo because he is not meant to. he hears the words “positive response” and he thinks “cure” and they are two very different things.
    sorry to be a realist but i just want you to be aware when choosing between drugs.

  8. Awesome, awesome bike. I’ve been off my bike for almost two months now dealing with an abscess and then surgery for the abscess in the perineal area, so I feel for you. Back on my bike with a nose-less saddle now, hope you’ll be back to normal soon too.

  9. I love you and your spirit of perseverance. Additionally, the color on the assless is great it really gives the feeling of freedom and good health. Anti cancer vibes to you!

  10. If the doctors recommended an ass-ectomy the first time you were diagnosed, is it reasonable to say that the chemo alone “obviously didn’t work”? The *combination* of no-ass-ectomy and the chemo the first time definitely did not prevent recurrence. I am not trying to second guess your decision the first time, just trying to help you make an informed choice this time. I wouldn’t want you to discount the efficacy of the better chemo drug just because your cancer recurred. There are no absolutes here, just probabilities. That said, I would encourage you to look into the functional profiling Carolyn mentions.

  11. As Jennie pointed out on November 6th:

    “what they don’t know can’t hurt me.”

    I caught that too – it’s awesome! So’s the bike. You too.
    Thanks for sharing.

    S.

  12. Hi, I’ve been reading (lurking) on and off for a while, and, well, that bike is gorgeous, absolutely, and 10 times more beautiful (blood stain and all) than the black. Congratulations and good luck, you’re amazing.