much better, thank you.

Just a few days later now and I’m feeling worlds better.

We had Seth and Nicole over for dinner and ate outstanding food, we hung out with Galen from the left coast, I spent a day at the pool hall, Caroline stopped by and helped me clean out my shop which had been just sitting these last 5 or 6 weeks (so sad), Marcus stopped by and dropped off some coffee.  (my buddy S.T. stopped by to show me the fancy new prison issue shoes that he’d gotten during his 30 day stay at Riker’s Island!!  with a big apology that he’d been thinking of me the whole time and felt terrible that he had no way to tell me where he was or why he wasn’t stopping by to check on me! “bro!  I got out 4 hours ago..  I came straight here, buddy.”).

I want to thank you all for your support.

Those of you writing with encouragement, it’s hard for me to even express how important your presence has been for me throughout these last years.  Telling the story of this bloody process has been a powerful tool for me in coming to terms with it all.. in understanding it.  Telling a story without an audience is just talking to yourself (and there’s been some of that too).  Knowing that I can write it down here, and that you’ll read it, is good medicine.  You’re helping me create a valuable record.  Memory is fallible, often mercifully.  I looked back through pictures yesterday and was reminded that just a month ago, I was stuck in a hospital and that just getting out of bed to walk a few steps in a hallway was a complicated process that involved organizing tubes and strategically draping hospital gowns.  There IS progress after all!!  The other day I went out in public for the better part of the day without even wearing a maxi pad!!

Those of you who dug up Megan and Nick’s donation link, it’s really above and beyond the call of duty.  It makes me feel a little awkward to receive money from you all at a time when I know that EVERYONE is stretched.  I am grateful, and I will have to just assume that you are giving within your means.  Thank you.

Ok.  That’s it for now.  Tonight I’ll make some braised lamb shanks and polenta for Katypang.  Maybe tomorrow I’ll finally put up the braising instructions that I’ve been promising!

0 Replies to “much better, thank you.”

  1. very happy to hear you are feeling better, take it the one day at a time way, in my neck of the woods in central Ontario, the Fall foliage is mostly down and we are looking at a week of cold rain, not the best for photography but excellent for curling up with the dog on the couch with a good book. take care and all the best in every way

  2. I’m so glad to read that your spirits are lifting. I’m sure there’ll be a lot of ups and downs for a while, but ride the thermals when you find ’em! Your grace is ever-inspiring.

    BTW, a great how-the-hell-do-I-deal-with-this read: Three Dog Life by Abigail Thomas. A fantastic full-mind escape: The Passage by Justin Cronin. (I’m a librarian; recommending books is how I express appreciation. 🙂

  3. Ezra,

    It was such a pleasure having the opportunity to spend an evening with you, Hillary and Putney. Kim was duly impressed that I made an appearance in your Flicrkstream, and we both look forward to one day hosting you here in Seattle.

    Perhaps I’ll be reading directions for salt pork, rice and beans on your blog soon?

    In the meantime, keep writing and we’ll keep reading.

  4. It’s awesome to here you’re feeling better, Ez, especially if it means you’ll be posting instructions for braised lamb 😉 Keep the faith, brother.

  5. so so very glad that the angels of feeling better have blessed you. I breath a big sigh of relief, a respite and some light shining in what seemed like a dark moment there for you. We WILL keep reading, andyou are giving us a gift in your writing- to be able to witness what you are going through, and to think that by being here we can bear a little of the burden, however small.

    Looking forward to more recipes!!!

  6. is great to know that you are more animated, I really was delighted to read you!, I want you to go feeling better and better every day! and thank you to share this part of your life hard and difficult, I assure you that you are an example of bravery and courage, we are with you friend! don’t forget!

  7. Cheers from Sydney, Ezra. You have surpassed all of my childhood sporting heroes and are now an inspiration I tell my friends about. Keep with the positivity, it helps the rest of us too.

  8. I have to say the maxi pad is a triumph! Every time you write it I giggle to myself thinking of my own awkward experiences with them. After attending Catholic school as an adolescent, I always felt like they were a bit like sitting on a bible all day. T.M.I., but also good for a giggle. Happy to hear the emotions ebb and flow. Hope you are having a great Monday.

  9. As always, it is nice to read about an upswing in positivity. Thank you for sharing because your story is powerful and important and I appreciate the perspective. I’m feeling a little Sid Vicious in the portrait and I like it.

  10. Ezra, you show grace under pressure, and are beautiful. You look so handsome too brother! Again, I’m not going to ask you and Hill any more… WHEN can I come over for dinner? SOunds like you are busy tonight, tomorrow? This Friday? I’m there! Love to you all… from Cali..

  11. Went to a wedding in Austin this week and met a former dancer friend of yours, “Blue” from the front desk. She says hello and wishes you all the best.

    It seems you are well regarded throughout the entire country.


  12. Dear Ezra

    SO glad to hear you’re feeling a bit better. I am sure it takes a million tiny steps which are all very difficult but we’re here for you as much as we can be. Keep writing and getting stronger! and I mean it about the photo books. Christmas/Hanukkah is coming…


  13. just sending some love your way, e. and some for lovely hill as well. i miss you guys and think of you often. close close close to my heart. yup, thats where you are.

  14. Of all the blogs I’ve run into and read, of anything I read, what you’re writing is what I will remember. It’s like reading about riding around the world on a bike, or mountaineering, or something discovered by an astronomer. Making memories is one of the things it’s all about. And, who knows who you’re helping with all the stories?

    And that bike on the home page; oh that’s classy! I wanna ride it…

  15. Wonderful news, Ez! Good to hear you are feeling better.

    I made some tasty chicken soup last night and thought of you. Perfect food for a rainy autumn day. Look forward to the next recipe.

  16. Hi Ezra,

    My partner has been reading your blog for a long while now, and I doubt she’s commented because she’s a quiet one. However, she has shared your pictures(especially ones of Putney) and your story with me so I have started following along on my own. I just want you to know that we both think of you often, sending out our love and good thoughts to you in hopes we’re doing our own little bit to aid in your health and healing.


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