I gave myself an injection in the stomach, something that’s supposed to encourage blood growth, and started to cry uncontrollably. Finally just broke (it only took 2 months).
I’m on a break from the chemo because my blood counts are so low. I woke up feeling good yesterday so I got on my bike to ride to radiation. The 3 mile ride nearly killed me. Chest pain, exhaustion, lightheadedness, etc. The ride home wasn’t any different. I spent the rest of the day sitting down.
This morning I walked down to the farmer’s market with Hill and Putney. I made Hill late for work, I was moving so slow.
So this is Anemia? A whole new kind of fun.
I know perfectly well that the feelings of uselessness, despair, are just temporary. Somehow, knowing that doesn’t make it go away. I’m pretty sure that a few more blood cells and a bike ride would help.
Meanwhile, I’ve just got two weeks of treatment left. Two more weeks before they pronounce this thing dead (we hope). With some luck they’ll say, “you’re cancer free. Go ride a real bike.” I will comply.