After getting the port in on wednesday, I was looking forward to four days off with no appointments of any sort. It has gone by pretty quickly, and I’m feeling as though I REALLY haven’t taken advantage of the time. I went out to the shop for a while yesterday, with the best intentions, and ended up just staring blankly at tools. I’m almost relieved to be starting the chemo tomorrow, just so that I can stop ANTICIPATING it. It’s my hope that when I start, I can just get into the rhythm of doing the stuff. Of getting it done. That I’ll get familiar again with just what I’m dealing with, and I’ll be able to roll with it. The last few weeks have just been full of a sort of crippling dread of what’s to come. Once it HAS come, maybe I won’t dread it any more. That’s what I’m hoping.
I remember from last time that getting unplugged on day 3 was like the last day of school. You wake up and know that you only have to make it through that day and then it’s summer vacation. So here’s to wednesday. Looking forward to wednesday.