It was an amazing thanksgiving. We had a wonderful mix of people joining us, and we ate good food.
So very much to be thankful for.
But, I spoke to Alberto this afternoon and there has been a hiccup. When the surgeon looked at the pathology slides (which he was going to do that following monday.. I never heard from him and assumed all was well), he found what they’re calling “viable” cancer cells. While the margins around the tumor were clean, he doesn’t feel convinced that he got everything. Because of the random scattering of the cells in the tumor, he can’t rule out individual cells OUTSIDE the section they removed.. feels it’s possible that the margins are clean just because they didn’t happen to hit anything.
Why didn’t they call me right away? It’s a good question.. They didn’t want to ruin my thanksgiving, and felt that it wouldn’t change anything anyway.
The discomfort from the surgery is really hanging on. Naturally it is quite painful to take a shit, but it also seems to be messing with my general digestive happiness. Opiates help, but I don’t like taking them because it makes it hard to work (vicodin and milling machines are maybe not a smart combination). The discomfort has felt worth it in the context of things. Now it’s just pissing me off.
What’s next. The surgeon’s immediate opinion was that we need to amputate. Alberto wants to avoid this at all costs. He is recommending that we go somewhat experimental. Avastin is a pretty new drug that has proven effective at slowing the demise in people with metastatic cancer. It stops your body from being able to generate capillaries and, in doing so, starves the cancer.. (pedestrian understanding.. those docs out there reading this, forgive me). It hasn’t been tested in cancer in the early stages, but he feels that it might be effective. So.. add a drug to the regimen for the next four months or so, and resign myself to CONSTANT checkups. Forever. Or a shit bag (and the shit bag doesn’t seem to be any sort of guarantee that there isn’t cancer elsewhere..)
I’m frustrated. I had been getting pretty charged up about the next few months. Planning to go to NAHBS. Planning what bikes I’d be taking. Planning on having good long work weeks.. and most of all, planning to be healthy, and stop being poked and prodded. One phone call, and it’s a new reality.